What’s in Your Mind?

This weekend was our local YMCA’s very first family camp.  I spent most of the time playing ping pong with Graham.  He went from picking up the paddle for the very first time to being able to get a pretty good volley going.  I must have bent over to pick up the ball 500 times.  Then we played kickball.  I forgot I wasn’t 17.  I played with abandon.  My back reminded me I’m 50 and in only fair-to-middlin’ shape.  The appointment with my chiropractor is tomorrow at 11:00.

When I got home and after the car was unpacked, the clothes in the washer and most of the dirt wiped off, I picked up a book I’ve had sitting on my desk for 2 weeks or so.  In light of the way my non-stop self-talk had run riot after a weekend of being reminded I’m not where I want to be physically, (the end of the month challenge…remember?!?) the title caught my attention.  Crash the Chatterbox by Steven Furtick is timely to say the least.

Right at the beginning he reminded me that this frustration I experience between what I want to do and what I currently experience is nothing new.  In fact, the apostle Paul beautifully shared with us how he was constantly “at war” with this battle in his mind.  “I do what I don’t want to do, and I don’t do what I want to do,” Paul said.   Sound familiar?

If you struggle with your self-talk, I think you would enjoy  Crash the Chatterbox too.  I’m about 1/2 way through it now, and so far, there have been 2 key ideas I want to share with you.

1.  Look to God rather than people for approval.  My personality tends to look to others for their approval.  I work harder for others than I do for myself.  I focus on being the best student, the best friend, the best worker, the best daughter.  And it seems like I’m always striving to be perfect so that I’ll hear “good job” from the person I’m working for approval from.

Instead, I”m going to take Steven’s reminder to heart and realize that God has already said “good job Christy.”  In fact, he has already said, “Good Job!” to you too.  I’m already fully approved of and so are you.

Following hard on the heels of this need for approval, is my desire to compare.          2.  Dump that darned comparison trap!  It was so tempting to trot out my old friend – especially this past weekend as the end of month brought many promotions in my former business.  Several friends whom I had watched start their business’ after me, and then promote past me had just achieved the top level of the company.  I am so happy for them.  Really.  I am.

And I’m kind of sad for me.  For the lost hopes and dreams.  For the title of “National Vice President” that I didn’t achieve.   And then, just in time, I was reminded by Steven that comparison is ridiculous. Let me quote from him (just in case any of you could benefit from this thought too.)

 “Before you were born – before any of your defects were apparent to you — they were absolutely apparent to God.  That didn’t stop Him from calling your name and setting you apart.  He placed you on the earth at a certain time for a pre-decided purpose.

 And even when you can’t seem to get your act together, your identity is secure and completely intact.  Because in Christ, who you are matters infinitely more than anything you do or cannot do.”

And that’s the truth.  That “pre-decided purpose” just makes my heart sing.  Because I know that had I achieved that rank I was working so hard for, I wouldn’t be right here with you right now. There would be no blog.  No podcast. No speaking career.  And for whatever reason, I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is where I’m supposed to be.

All 187 lbs., achey back, creaky knees and all.  And as I get my mind repositioned, whatever that process looks like, is when the weight will drop and the fitness improve.  In the meantime, ping-pong anyone?

Question:  How do you handle your self talk?  What’s your biggest challenge?  Can you see yourself using the two ideas I discussed?